I Got 99 Problems Jokes Funny

As great as the best Thanksgiving traditions can be at your relatives' house, we're just going to come right out and say it—all that togetherness in such close quarters can sometimes get to your head faster than Uncle Tim's signature Thanksgiving cocktail.

Thanksgiving family time and food prep, while often pleasurable, can be a major source of holiday-induced stress. To help relieve some of that tension, we've compiled the best Thanksgiving jokes to lighten the mood at your dinner table. If you'd like to take your Thanksgiving spirit to social media this year, we've also rounded up our favorite turkey day instagram captions!

From puns to one-liners fit for Thanksgiving memes, there's no shortage of Turkey Day-related witticisms that are just too plucking good not to love. Your nearest and dearest will raise their gobble-lets to any of these festive quips related to eating, pilgrims, and the true star of the show—turkey. Don't worry—each one is PG enough to toss around the kids' table. This year, give thanks for the best Thanksgiving jokes out there, which will inevitably make every turkey-stuffed mouth curl into a smile. Because there's no harm in poking a little bit of fun while everyone pokes at their food.

Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

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• "What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?" "Quack, Quack!"
• "Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?" "He sensed fowl play."
• "What key has legs and can't open a door?" "A turkey."
• "Why did they let the turkey join the band?" "Because he had his own drumsticks."
• "What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"
• "You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one."
• "Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."
• "If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?" "A goblet."
• "What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."
• "What's blue and covered in feathers?" "A turkey holding its breath."
• "What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."
• "Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."
• "Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."
• "How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."
• "What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."
• "What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."
• "What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."
• "What did the leftover turkey say?" "Make me a sandwich!"

Thanksgiving Food Jokes

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• "What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?" "Squash casserole."
• "What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?" "The casse-role."
• "What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish?" "Monster mash potatoes and grave-y."
• "What's a turkey's favorite dessert?" "Peach gobbler!"
• "Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?" "It had 24 carrots."
• "What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?" "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
• "Why did the cranberries turn red?" "Because they saw the turkey dressing."
• "You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy."
• "My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That's it. That's the joke."

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

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• "What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?" "A har-vest."
• "Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?" "There was no thyme!"
• "What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving food?" "Nothing—it's already stuffed."
• "Which holiday is Dracula's favorite?" "Fangs-giving."
• "What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?" "The turkey trot."
• "What instrument does a turkey play?" "The drumsticks!"
• "What kind of key can't open doors?" "A tur-key."
• "What kind of noise does a limping turkey make?" "Wobble, wobble."
• "What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?" "May the forks be with you."

Pilgrim Thanksgiving Jokes

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• "What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?" "Plymouth Rock."
• "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."
• "Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread?" "It's a crummy job."
• "What do you a call the age of a pilgrim?" "Pilgrimage."
• "Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?" "Because they wear their buckles on their hats!"
• "What's John Wayne's favorite holiday?" "Thanksgiving, Pilgrim."

Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes

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• "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Norma Lee." "Norma Lee who?" "Norma Lee I don't drink eat this much!"
• "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Tamara." "Tamara who?" "Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!"
• "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body seen the turkey?"
• "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Arthur." "Arthur who?" "Arthur any leftovers?"
• "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Don." "Don who?" "Don eat all the gravy, I want some more."

Thanksgiving Puns

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• "I'm all about that baste."
• "Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!"
• "My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey."
• "I only have pies for you."
• "Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe."
• "Let's get basted."
• "Gobble 'til you wobble."
• "Oh my gourd, I ate too much."

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Source: https://www.countryliving.com/life/a28522581/thanksgiving-jokes/